"That is so Welsh. I show you something fantastic and you still manage to find fault"

"Careful Sir, that's harassment."

"If you're interested I've still got that stopwatch."
"So?"
"Well. Think about it. Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch."
"Oh yeah. I can think of a few."
"There's quite a list."
"I'll send the others home early. See you in my office in ten."
"That's ten minutes. And counting."

"Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car?"

"Sorry. Um, can you deal with the body when it's cold?"
"My pleasure ... unless you mean making sushi."
"No, the morgue'll do fine. Thank you."

"Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Interested?"
"Huh, well. As long as it's not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself."
"Jack, why are we helping him?"
"He's a reminder of my past. I want him gone. By the way, was that a yes?"
"Yes. Yes."

"Your bedside manner's rubbish."
"You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious. Apparently. So I've heard."
"Oh, they are. I remember this one time—"
"Ahem."

"Come on! Have a little faith. With a dashing hero like me on the case how can we fail?"
"He is dashing, you have to give him that."

"Do I show off?"
"Just a bit."

"That's what I love about Torchwood. By day you're chasing the scum of the Universe, come midnight, you're the Wedding Fairy."

"Ianto, OK?"
"No broken bones, slight loss of dignity; no change there then...."

"Bloody Beans."